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A notch in my bedpost

Trigger Warning: Twilight fanfic.

Edward’s cock inside me felt like an ice dildo. At least he had the sense to use a lot of lube, the thing was buzzing in and out like a reciprocating saw. He better pull out in time, or else… Fuck he is coming! Ow ow ow, fucking ow! Thank God for the kevlar diaphragm, or he would slop his vampire jizz right into my uterus. The saw was finally slowing down. He pulled out and passed out. So much for never sleeping.

Yeah, he may be a charming fellow, but werewolves were a much better lay. Warm, fluffy, amazing stamina and virtually no refractory period, a girl’s dream. Like being fucked by a life-size stuffy. I looked at the sparkly figure and stifled a chuckle. Good thing he was in no shape to read my mind now. I grabbed my panties and scurried out the door. So. Werewolf: check, vampire: check, now… where can I find me some zombies to fuck?

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