There is nothing more dangerous than a person not wearing a mask. Forget Pennywise, forget The Joker, move aside The Chameleon. We know they are wearing a disguise to hide or to show off their villainous nature. But there is no defense against someone who is exactly as they appear to be.
She was like that. Not a hint of pretending or faking. No games. A pub in an unfamiliar town. Me, nursing a single malt scotch after a long drive. Her, striding toward me purposefully.
“I want you,” she looked me straight in the eyes, and I instantly knew without a doubt that she meant it. No hidden agenda. Her words passing through any conscious filters and making their nest in my heart.
“When I saw you, I got tingly between my legs, when I imagined you touching my face, I quiver. When I inhale your smell, I feel it mix with my own.” Lost in her words, hitting me with the force of indomitable truth.
“You look like you will hit the road in the morrow, and so this is my only chance. Our only chance. Please come with me.” She held out her hand. I wanted to make a halfhearted joke about waking up tomorrow in a bathtub full of ice, short a kidney if I come with her, but something stopped me. It just didn’t fit. In my travels I’ve met plenty of people trying to project credibility while having a hidden agenda, and there is always an unmistakable scent of an intent behind the words. The vague feeling of uneasiness that is hard to put one’s finger on and is all too easy to suppress, especially if what is said is something we want to believe. She had no hint of that. So, I got up, took her extended hand and leapt on the offer without a second thought.
She made love the same way she came across. Neither coy nor bossy. When she wanted me to touch her a certain way, she asked for it. Or, rather, she informed me of her need, letting me decide if it worked for me. Her attitude was contagious. I ended up sharing some of my most private fantasies in the same matter-of-factly way, and she cheerfully helped me indulge in more of them than I had ever thought possible. Just like I happily helped her with hers. We took a shower together after, playful and relaxed. Then cuddled and fell asleep for a few short hours. More lovemaking in the morning. Never a hint of awkwardness, only warmth and joy. And then it was over. We briefly discussed meeting up again, but it was not to be.
I have’t come across anyone like that since, despite tireless searching. All I see is masks. And so I am stuck, unable to connect to another human so intimately. I wish I had realized in time how dangerous her offer was. I wish I had never met her.