This is a rather boring description of our average weekday. We do not have rituals, but we do try to have routines, and sometimes it works.
7:30 am: I wake up at around 7:30 am, give or take 10 min, every weekday, no alarm necessary. The morning routine is abbreviated these days, to minimize the chance of disturbing my partner, DS, who goes to bed some time after 3 am and never gets enough quality sleep. I used to take the weekday morning in a leisurely fashion, taking up to an hour and a half to get out of the apartment and be off to work. Now it’s more like 30 min, most of it shower, and a short breakfast. One luxury that I am not willing to give up is the morning shower, right after getting up. It wakes me up, and it gives me time to think and to reflect. I’ve had a fair number of useful shower thoughts over the years, and hopefully there will be more.
8:30 am: My office is a ten minute walk from home, another luxury. Most days I look forward to my job, the work always has elements of creativity, there is very little pressure (don’t tell my boss!) and it pays well enough to live on and to support DS, and that is after giving almost half of my income to my ex. Getting a morning coffee, switching into the work mode and occasionally chatting with the coworkers is another routine that works well for me.
11:30 am: Some time before noon I either receive a text from DS, or text her to check up on her. She is not a morning person, to put it mildly, and her mood in the morning can be a little sub par. She usually has a bad night sleep, and all the loud activity outside, like the garbage and recycling trucks going through the neighborhood a few mornings a week, is not conducive to sleeping well, even with the blinds down and the earplugs in. Her morning messages tend to be barely legible, and the degree of coherence is usually indicative of her mental and physical state.
12 noon: After a brief text exchange I head home for lunch. Sometimes she is so unwell, she is still in bed, and I have to cajole her to get out and take her meds. Sometimes she is already in the living room. We hug, kiss, talk about our morning, while I am doing the dishes and making some simple healthy food, lately usually just an omelet. It’s my lunch and her breakfast, so we call it our brunch. I am a lousy cook, and manage to bungle even something like an omelet, but DS needs to have healthy routines, and without my help and nudging she is unlikely to have them. When I was away for just over a week, she slid into depression and her routines deteriorated. Once in a blue moon we manage to get a bit frisky before I have to get back to the office, a nice treat. Some months ago she was able to get up early enough to do a bit of cleaning and to make food for us, so we had more time at lunch for cuddling and fucking, and maybe it will happen again, but I am not holding my breath.
1:30 pm: I am off to work for another 4 hours or so. It’s nice to be able to take a long lunch break. DS and I tend to exchange a few messages here and there during the day, though I tend to get rather busy and immersed in work. She often has stuff to do, as well, though sometimes her days just suck, mentally, physically, or both. Which does not help my mood, either.
5:30 pm: I head home, not knowing in advance in what state she might be in. Could be suicidal or nearly so, could be dancing, could be focused on writing a post, could be ready to go out, and once in a great while she might even meet me outside half way. She is often horny though, and we get busy quite often, if not every day for hours on end, the way it was a year or so ago. But we are always close, I am on my laptop, she is on hers, or writing letters, and we are generally chatting about something. I am not a very talkative or sharing type, so the focus is mostly on her and on what’s on her mind. Could be politics and current events, or health anxiety, or actual health issues, or something else. Sometimes our chats spontaneously turn into makeouts and progress into a bit of fun where she gets tied up, hurt, spanked, flogged, fucked, degraded and humiliated and just basically used sexually. Good times!
7:30 pm: Dinner time. I tend to do the dishes first, since our place is too small to cook when the dishes are not done. Once in a while she is well enough to do the dishes before I get home. Right, food. Did I mention that I suck at cooking? I can follow instructions, but I have to dom her into giving me said instructions, which is kind of funny when described like that, but can be rather frustrating in the moment. Sometimes she cooks, sometimes we cook together, sometimes I do most of the cooking, and she does the essential bits, like adding the right spices, or telling me what to add. I try to be more assertive to prevent useless discussions about the topic of food, like her asking “what do you want to eat?” There is still a bit of friction there at times, and we both dislike it, though it’s better lately, after we have discussed the rules. Once the dinner is ready, we usually watch Netflix while eating. Sometimes she dissociates part way through, sometimes we end up cozying up, sometimes something unpredictable happens.
11 pm: Snack time! Something light, like yogurt and berries. Night time is the best time for her, so that is when she tends to write. I often read stuff, and once in a while get inspired to write something, too. She often reads me a paragraph or two as she writes them, getting excited about what’s to come, especially if a Drusilla sex scene is coming up. This is also the most likely time for us to go for a walk, which might last 10 minutes, or an hour, impossible to predict.
12:30 am: I am off to bed, while she stays up for another three hours or so. We had tried to synchronize our sleeping schedules, but had to give up after a few months, going to bed “early” doesn’t work for her.